Life on the Road

Yesterday, I poured some cereal in my bowl, tossed in a few strawberries, picked up my spoon and said “EUAAAAGH!!!! ANTSS!!!!!!” The bowl had three teeeeny tiny ants in it, which meant they’d gotten there via the cereal.

I want to be perfectly clear that I bear no serious ill will towards ants. While we were parked on top of an enormous ant colony for a month, I never once was tempted to borrow a magnifying lens on a sunny day. And I have very few phobias in general. I’m not afraid of any weather or geological events like tornadoes and earthquakes– respectful, yes. But not scared. I don’t even mind the occasional cockroach, provided it’s in the right place.

What I can’t abide, and what really, tremendously horribly gives me the heebie jeebies: bugs of any sort in my kitchen. I spent most of yesterday imagining that the little things were crawling over my skin, and scratching at my skin wherever I felt a “phantom” ant.

Now, allow me to reminisce again about my amazing grandmother. This is the week for reminiscing, after all, and this story will show you what a terrific naturalist she was. I remember once we were driving down to Cape Cod to visit my grandfather (in the cemetary, folks– he died 15 years ago), and she was telling me about how she gets rid of ants in her kitchen. Keep in mind, this is knowledge handed down, not something I have myself tried.

First, she finds out if they’re sugar ants or fat ants. Sugar ants tend to be smaller and more persistent. One way to tell is to leave out two saucers– one with a bit of corn syrup (not HFCS– just regular corn syrup for making candy, folks), the other with a pat of butter. Leave them out overnight. In the morning, one will have a bunch of ants on it. The other might have a few strays. Take both saucers outside (yes, crawling with ants) and shake them off, hose them down with a hose. Whichever bait worked, use that one again tonight. Put the corn syrup or honey out on a plate overnight. In the morning, take the ants outside and hose them off the plate. Repeat. The ants will eventually, through sheer determination, stop coming into your house.

That method takes too long for my taste, and it requires me to pick up a plate of ants inside my kitchen, something I realized yesterday (as I tucked my head beneath my knees to keep from passing out from the revulsion of finding them in my breakfast) that I am biologically incapable of accomplishing .

So I mentioned my plight to some other RVers (the email went something like “EWWWW!!! ENGFEH! YUCK!!!”) who helpfully recommended a few sites. This one says to use bleach or white vinegar to kill ants and clean off the sugar ant trails. We’ll be trying this tactic if the ants make a return appearance. I had my brave strong husband clean them out yesterday (feminism be damned– bugs in the kitchen are his job), but if they decide to come back, I have 2 gallons of white vinegar standing by.

Meanwhile this site suggests using moth balls around the outside of the home and ant bait traps. Obviously, treating the exterior of my home isn’t practical, since we’ll be leaving it next week, and I’m 99% certain we brought these ants with us from New York. My only problem with bait traps is the pesticides– I prefer to use as few pesticides as possible in my home. My cat eats bugs regularly, and he’s already recovering from a compromised liver. Boric acid may be an effective, natural pesticide , but it is also toxic, and cats can be especially sensitive to it. It may be all-natural, but so is cyanide. Still, if I have another breakfast of champion ants, I won’t hesitate to bring out the big guns.

Photo credit: by jurvetson on Flickr. Creative Commons by-2.0 license .

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